The necessity of self-care

Hello lovely readers,

I love meeting with friends over coffee, a meal, or just a glass of wine. If I’m feeling very virtuous I might go for a walk and then a glass of wine. Getting to chat and laugh is a tonic for my soul. But when I’m busy that is one of the activities that gets lost in the noise of the “urgent” clamoring for my attention. I know I need to connect with friends to stay sane, but I feel so guilty if I don’t do what is screaming for my attention. Or worse, I get so overwhelmed and tired I run into my “cave” and hide out. Not good.

I have just sent the manuscript of my third book off to the editors. Woohoo. But the push to reach the deadline was exhausting and in the process, I neglected the very thing that would have sustained me during that very busy time — myself.

I am just now beginning to realize, after talking with friends, that I am not the only one who forgets to care for myself when life gets in the way. So I thought I might share some of the tips I’ve learned that help me stay sane.

We often learn from a young age to care for others before ourselves. In some way that’s a given. Right? But when you neglect yourself in favor of the urgent bellowing for attention in your head it becomes a habit that can often be self-harming.

To truly care for ourselves takes discipline. I know that sounds so odd it's almost laughable but it's true. I know I used to think I was being really caring when I ignored my own feelings of exhaustion, or resentment, and agreed to help or listen to someone who “needed” me. I felt guilty and selfish if I even entertained the idea of saying “no.” I learned the hard way that I needed boundaries. That’s where the discipline comes in. Incorporating boundaries into your life is hard. Family, work, friends, spouses, partners, children, pets—they all need us (and rightly so), but if we are not careful to add boundaries we could easily become a slave to unreasonable expectations.

Don’t be fooled, we have responsibilities that we can not neglect, but we have a responsibility to ourselves too. You are so worth taking the time to be kind to yourself. Your gifts, strengths, talents and unique perspective on life will flourish if you take the time to love yourself.

This little blog is my attempt to be accountable. Want to join me and begin to implement a discipline/habit of self-care for your life?

Here are some tips I include to help me stay sane …

. Stop eating three hours before bed … you will sleep so much better.

. Light a candle an hour (or thirty minutes if an hour is too scary) before bed and lie down and let the light soothe and comfort you as you lay still. Music in the background also helps.

. Take a bath and put some yummy scented bath salts in it and light a candle and just enjoy. You may want to read a book in there but I find the steam curls the pages. I tend to lie back and close my eyes and kinda doze.

. Sleep in linen sheets. I love the feel of crisp sheets next to my skin. I do a little wriggle to get comfortable and let all my skin feel the joy. I also practice thankfulness—I am blessed to enjoy a clean comfortable bed and I never forget it.

. Be awed at the beauty around you. The other day I watched a mamma duck and her little ducklings following behind her. I stopped and just watched the beauty of the moment.

. Look after your body … that means drink lots of water, eat lots of leafy greens, reduce sugar (that includes processed sugar or sugar alternatives), and reduce soda drinks. Bonus tip: it helps move unwanted tummy fat!

. Take a social media break on a daily basis. I put my phone on aeroplane mode and put it away. If you already feel an anxiety attack coming on just thinking about it then try for just 5 minutes. Then extend it out each day by a minute. I usually go for an hour, and I never look at it before going to bed.

. Get those toxic people out of your life. Sometimes it's difficult to recognize who they are, but they will leave you feeling anxious, exhausted, or defeated when you are with them.

. Take regular exercise. I walk every day (I have two dogs so that’s motivation right there). Although there are some days that I don’t want to go (I am a committed couch potato 🤣)  but I push myself. It's great for you physically and emotionally, so push through.

. Prioritize your faith — whatever that looks like for you. Practice silence or prayer or meditation.

. And laugh a lot. I watch silly dog videos (usually on YouTube) to get my daily laugh fix. Fills me up with all those good hormones and I’m buzzing for the day.

That’s a large list but don’t think you have to do it all. Choose one activity that speaks to you and implement it into your life on a regular basis. Then when you are ready introduce another one. Before you know it you will have some self-care habits that will change your life. You might even think up something that’s not on the list. That’s okay. Do whatever works for you.

I’d love it if you stayed in touch and let me know how you are doing. Remember it’s Sanity, not Vanity to take time for yourself.

Sending hugs 🌺❤️

Cate